July 3, 2009

"Hello?"

"Hello."

Pause.

"Hello?"

"Yeh, am ere."

"What can I do for you?"

"Are you the right people?"

"I don't know yet. How can I help?"

"Right" - and you have imagine the scouse twang here - "I won us a George Foreman grill in a competition in yer paper, right, for Mudder's Day."

"Okay."

"And it's noh werrrrrkin."

"It doesn't work?"

"Nah, like."

"I see. It's never worked?"

"Oh yeh. It werrrked, like. But I dink a fuse as blown."

"Have you got the guarantee?"

"Nah."

"So, what is it do you want me to do?"

"Dunno."

"I see."

"So, youse can't do noddin den?"

"Well, no. I've never fixed a George Foreman grill before. It's not really what we do here."

"Oh."

"So..."

"Alrice. Ta anywhey."