October 8, 2008

Phil and Fern have just been talking about the Dandy Highwaymen of the City this morning, and have explained, for the sake of housewives and bored off-work-on-a-Wednesday journalists, the latest situation rather nicely as this:

The banks want the taxpayers to give them a load of money - £50bn, in fact...

They want that money so they can lend it straight back to us, the taxypayers...

With us taxpayers then paying the banks interest for the privilege of lending our own money back...

Interest which helps them make money...

For themselves...

And eventually, after say three years, the Government - which will get shares in the banks in return for them using our taxpayers cash - will sell those shares back to the banks, presumably - hopefully - for a profit...

Of which we, the taxpayers, will see precisely fuck all... unless you count the Government paying for a load of expensive management consultants to consult on how not to fuck up the banking system in the future as "something in return"...

And oh - those shares in the banks the Government now owns on our behalf?

Don't forget the mantra - the value of your investment can go up or down.

No worries, though, eh, Gordon? We're not going anywhere.

We can't fucking afford to.

EDIT: It works out at about £2,000 per person that we're giving the banks. And yet I can't afford a holiday this year. Go figure.