October 1, 2008
Just watched one of those dreaded "Party Political Broadcasts by the Conservative Party" with a frighteningly sincere-looking David Cameron sat there in a high rise office block somewhere - presumably Birmingham, where he's been speaking at their conference today - with a brow more furrowed than your average Norfolk field.
His message, essentially, is that unlike in the United States, where party squabbling prevented the $700bn bail out of Wall Street wbankers - initially, anyway, because we all know it'll be approved in some form or another, if not later today, certainly before the week is out - Dave and his band of dahn-wiv-the-northern-kidz Tories will "work with the Government" to ensure no such thing happens here.
"We're ready to help," he said, the brow so creased you could see the blue blood waiting to burst out.
Yeah, well, much as I can't stand Gordon Brooon, Dave, there is something a bit different about the situation here than the one in America.
And that is this: Labour still has a majority in the House of Commons, which Bush's Republicans most certainly do not have in the US.
So no matter whether you want to help or not, even with that all-party purple tie you were sporting during your stern 'n' sober speech and your frightfully earnest PPB, it doesn't matter a jot anyway.
Brooon's Labour can still do what the hell they like until you, my Etonian friend, get yourself a mandate.
And until you do, sonny Jim, it's all a loada shite, innit?
