September 9, 2008

bigbang

Well, the scientists say it's all a mere quest for the answers to everything, which I suppose in some quarters could equal describing the Manhattan Project as a natural precursor to Meccano.

But, if the doomsayers* are correct, the below ground experiment which starts at CERN tomorrow, to see if they can recreate in the smallest way possible a miniscule version of the alleged Big Bang moment, will create a series of "small" black holes that will suck us and, indeed, everything else in the universe into them, thus meaning that life, earth, creation, space and all the mysteries that lie beyond will forever be crushed to nothing by the man-made celestial equivalents of a for-once working Dyson.

Whether this is a good thing, I really don't know. But the big underground tube thing looks quite exciting, in a blokey sort of way.

And hey. You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs...

My real concern, though, is that if this does indeed herald the end of not just life as we know it, but actually the end of all time, couldn't they at least have thought of a better name for this apocalyptic harbinger of doom than the "Large Hadron Collider"?

It might just be me, sure, and most probably is, but this Machine That Could End All Life instead sounds disturbingly like a parlour game played by shrieking dyslexic homosexuals.

* I just love the way that lot call themselves "the OFFICIAL magazine of the apocalypse".