August 31, 2008

The blinding brilliance of Gordon Brooon's brain has just flashed like lightning across the nation once more.

It's already raining here in the north west, but those of you in sunnier climes down south will hear the thunder boom a little later, no doubt, and of course feel the storm that follows. But don't presume you'll be relieved to get out of the stifling heat - the downpour is just as oppressive, but even more downheartening.

Just like under Thatcher, now I think about it.

But I digress...

Furious that his puppet Chancellor Alistair Darling had the temerity to treat the populace with shreds of intelligence and maturity by acknowledging in an interview published in The Guardian on Saturday that voters were "pissed off" at rising fuel and food prices, plummeting house values, imminent job losses and a recession sat there waiting with shit-eating jaws like the T-Rex at the bottom of the waterfall in the novel of Jurassic Park (which Spielberg inexplicably missed in the movie), and a Government apparently impotent in anything other than short term bluster and blather, the Prime Minister - he of Never Elected By Anyone fame - reportedly picked up the telephone and ordered Darling to eat his words via the miracle of live television interviews yesterday, so desperate is this increasingly hateful man that he continues to bully people into hopefully thinking he's making a great fist of the job the nation never asked him to do.

Or did he?

Did the First Lord of the Treasury really order his henchmen to put the nation's bookkeeper onto the box to try to persuade people that the previous bookkeeper - he, of course, of aforementioned Never Elected By Anyone fame - hadn't cooked the books in the slightest while he had the keys to the safe?

Well, you decide. Here's an interview with Darling that took place on Saturday - just hours after The Guardian was getting pushed through doors with those all important "pissed off" words inside it - with BBC Scotland's political editor Brian Taylor.

Asked why he'd given such a bleak assessment of the economy, Darling replied: "I think it’s important that I tell people that we, along with every other country in the world, face a unique set of circumstances where we have got the credit crunch coming at the same time as high oil and food prices. That means there is a profound difference in the economy, along with every other country in the world."

Taylor: "But isn’t it the job of the Leader of the Opposition to say – and I use your words – 'we are pissed off' about the economy?"

Darling: "I think it’s important that Government Ministers and me in particular are level with people and explain that every other country in the world, ours included, have a credit crunch the like of which we have not seen in generations at the same time as oil and food prices going up."

Taylor: "But Chancellor, the strategy here is puzzling. Shouldn’t you be reassuring people rather than talking down the economy and saying it’s the worst for 60 years?"

Darling: "I think it’s important that while we, along with every other country in the world, are facing the unique combination of a credit crunch, high oil and food prices, that we do everything possible to help people."

Taylor (clearly becoming frustrated): "Do you regret blurting out the truth in such a frank fashion?"

Darling: "I have been saying for many weeks now that we along with every other country in the world are facing a unique set of circumstances: the credit crunch along with very high oil and food prices..."

Taylor: "Chancellor, forgive me, but you have made that point a number of times. What I am after is what was the thinking behind this? Usually Chancellor of the Exchequers should provide calm reassurance. You are talking about people being 'pissed off' with the economy and the worst crisis for 60 years. Won’t this make things worse?"

Darling: "I think it’s important that when people ask why are these problems facing countries across the world, that finance ministers explain that we have got a credit crunch the like of which we have not seen in generations and rising oil and food prices causing inflationary pressures. And we also explain that’s why we need to support the economy now and help the economy through what is undoubtedly a difficult time."

All together now: Like a puppet on a string...