August 29, 2008

Popcorn is being banned from arthouse cinemas - you know, the places where at least four people a week flock to watch black and white movies about oppression in 18th century Algeria featuring tin baths, livestock and underage rape as part of otherwise inexplicable storylines told via the inevitable subtitles.

Instead - and excuse me while I quietly declare fatwa on sandal-wearers across the nation - cinemagoers in at least one place in That Fancy London can instead feast on wasabi peas, olives and Italian bread while they weep for mankind into their hemp cardigan sleeves.

I kid you not, my friends.

For further information on this truly ghastly day for life as we know it, go here - not least of all for the interesting Popcorn Facts panel half way down.