June 5, 2008

A couple have just appeared in a court here charged by the RSPCA with causing unnecessary suffering to a German Shepherd dog that resulted in its death.

The emaciated body of the six-year-old, which was called Max, was found in their wheelie bin. They'd owned but clearly not looked after the animal for two years.

In court, the woman's lawyer claimed she had bipolar disorder - but came unstuck when asked if there were any medical records to prove it.

It's almost needless to say, but that's because there weren't any.

The lawyer also claimed that the woman had an underage daughter who'd recently given birth, and the woman had taken legal responsibility for the newborn and hence the dog got accidentally neglected.

Nice family - your 14-year-old is up the duff and there's a dead dog in your wheelie bin. Shameless, here you come.

Anyway, both have just been sentenced to 12 weeks in jail, glaring at our reporter as they were led from the dock. You know - because it's her fault they're a pair of arseholes.

Result.

In other news, here's our slightly related front page story this week. Let's hope this guy gets caught, too:

http://www.wirralglobe.co.uk/display.var.2317119.0.find_this_dog_kicking_thug.php

June 5, 2008

Redhibition, noun
The return of defective merchandise

"Look," said Zeds, "it's just a kettle. It's no big deal."

"No big deal?" squawked the buzzard. "No big deal?"

"Erm, no."

"Thirty quid? For a kettle? From the Co-bleedin'-Op?"

"Well, yes."

"With a missing water filter?"

"Yes."

"And you still won't take it back?"

"No."

"Even though the shop is just across the road?"

"Yes."

"So you're just rubbish at returning crap goods then?"

"Yes."

"I just don't understand. What's so good about this kettle?"

"When it's on, it lights up blue."

"Like the underside of a chav's Corsa?"

"Erm, yes."

"And in the two months since you've owned it, how many times have you actually used said swift heater-upper of water?"

"Once."