May 12, 2008

Our new young friend, Hannah, started her two-week work experience with us today.

I'm not sure how old she is, but I'd guess around 15.

As the pseudo middle-manager type person, it is my wont to have these young would-be scribes sat next to me at the spare desk.

Imagine my delight, then, when, as the incredibly shy teenager sat there staring at her Facebook homepage, I realised I needed a notebook from inside my suit jacket, and upon retrieving it, also managed to pull out a Durex Tingle For Extra Pleasure condom, too.

Excellent.

No doubt I'll be arrested at dawn.

May 12, 2008

Gordon Broooon, the self-styled big beast of the political jungle, is now completely at the mercy of the piranhas that he himself taught to sense a trace of blood and go in for the kill.

This is magnificent political theatre for those interested, because we're witnessing the locust-like swarm of destruction descending on Brooon's every word and deed.

They know they've got him. He knows they've got him.

It is merely a matter of time before he wilts under the onslaught.

Here's our local MP, Frank Field, who has led this campaign from the front and clearly has no intention of stopping now. You'll need speakers or earphones:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7395677.stm

May 12, 2008

Scapegrace, noun
A man or boy of reckless and disorderly habits; an incorrigible scamp

Nipper glared balefully down at his dripping feathers, and if he had fists, he would have shaken them with rage.

"If you ever, ever, even think about doing that bucket-on-top-of-the-door thing again," he squawked, with a shiver, "I actually will kill you."