April 22, 2008
Gumnivorous, adj
Feeding on tree saps
"And so therefore," concluded Nipper, speaking with utmost sincerity to the bank of cameras, "I fail to see how my nocturnal owl-spotting, which frequently sees me prowling remote, secluded commonland, and inevitably fumbling around in the gloomy undergrowth, and thus occasionally reaching out for firm purchase, thereby sometimes having to yank roughly on a sturdy branch, ultimately running the risk of being splattered in the tepid goo of night-time sap, can in any way bear any comparison whatsoever to the scurrilous front page story in the News Of The World today entitled: 'Nipper's Three-Way Cottage Shame: A Bird In The Hand Is Worth Two In The Bush.' I shall be making no further comment on these allegations, other than to say my lawyers have been informed."
