March 13, 2008

Just spent a bizarre lunchtime with my mother, and, as it turned out, my ex of a zillion years ago, now happily settled down and a mum of two, doing, it appears, very well for herself, with a big posh listed building to live in and four wheel drives coming out of her ears.

I'm actually feeling quite pleased for her. Life appears good.

But then they start talking about shepherd's pie.

"What," I ask, somewhat incredulously, "are you going on about? Can you actually have a more tedious conversation?"

*glares*

"Um, what?"

"You," said my ex, of 18 years ago, by the way, "need to grow up, and stop living like a teenager."

"Erm..."

"Get a mortgage. Settle down. Be an adult."

"Wha-"

"Temporary. That's what you are. Temporary."

"Hang o-"

"That's perfect for you. Perfect. Temporary - I'm so pleased I thought of that."

Great, isn't it, when love lingers on?

March 13, 2008

Brilliant.

Such is the attractiveness of this fine country - huge taxes, shit weather, Gordon "Broooon" Broooon - the Polish are now going home for better pay and conditions.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/7282923.stm

March 13, 2008

Gynotikolobomassophile, noun
One who nibbles on women’s earlobes

"Hmmmm. Not really my bag, I have to say," said Zeds.

"Oh I don't know," said Nipper, who is, lest we forget, a carrion-devouring buzzard. "It's alright when they're dead."