March 10, 2008

Two brand new resources created just for lesbian and bisexual (L women have been launched by the Lesbian and Gay Foundation (LGF), a health based community charity based in Manchester working to ‘end homophobia and empower people’.

The first named ‘Beating About The Bush’ for its direct and ‘no messing about sex language’ aims to provide LB women with all the basic information they need to know about sex and sexual health for women who have sex with women.

The full colour 32-page A6 resource provides information around sex, sexual difficulties, negotiating sex, what to do and how to do it, together with information on masturbation, sexual behaviour, safer sex and sex toys.

Annie Emery, spokeswoman for the Lesbian and Gay Foundation commented: “For many LB women there is little or no information out there about the sex we have. We have had to learn as we go along with trial and error and that is the exact reason why the LGF has produced this resource.”

To compliment the ‘Beating About The Bush’ guide and following consultation with the lesbian community, the LGF have also produced a six page LB women’s safer sex leaflet. As well as information on sex, safer sex and STI’s the leaflet contains a free sachet of Durex lube.

Miss Emery added: “After a successful three month lube trial with LB women last year, we are really pleased to have secured funding to supply the LB women of Manchester with 5,000 free sachets of lube together with the all important safer sex information.

“Once the safer sex packs and guides have all been picked up we will once again be welcoming further sponsors to support us with this vital work.”

The ‘Beating About The Bush’ guide and the safer sex leaflet are both available now to download free from lgf.org.uk and will be hitting the streets of the North West shortly.

The guide will be available from all lesbian friendly venues including the LGF and bars in Manchester’s gay village, Blackpool and Liverpool.

The safer sex leaflet will be stocked in Manchester’s Vanilla and Coyotes bars, the Lesbian Community Project and many more venues to be announced. To order copies for a venue call 0161 235 8035.

March 10, 2008

FADING blog site JD's World was sensationally stripped of its gold medals yesterday after reportedly failing a humour test.

The site, formally quite popular, was slaughtered at the recent Bloscars awards in what people with pink faces believe was the result of a conspiracy engineered by Far East betting syndicates and a shadowy middleman known only as The Boat.

Despite notching up an impressive 11 - count 'em, you bastards - Bloscars over the years, insiders believe the site may well now have run its course.

"It looks like the rot's set in," said one rival blogger, who isn't in Ireland. "I'm just amazed it's taken people this long to notice. Or maybe that's the problem."

Another writer, who is not working in London while simultaneously dreaming of Gibson guitars, added: "Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha."

While yet another, who has never been seen either scribbling or dribbling, remarked: "Can you just put 'snigger'? And perhaps a 'guffaw'? Cheers."

Officials are believed to have summonsed the site's author to its headquarters in Berlin, where insiders claim a showdown will be had about the lack of anything remotely funny.

It is not known if the humour test was failed by the half-faced halfwit or his co-writer, the buzzard.

A spokesman said: "Give me back my PRO status and we promise that normal services will be resumed."

BCUK were unavailable for comment.

* On other pages: Belated happy birthday messages to Nick; Paddy in the dock over disturbing arse pictures; Lady Eggbod yachting in Monaco; Shock Rowtheboat admission: "I stole it all"; Exclusive: World Bans Guinea Pigs

March 10, 2008

Paralipophobia, noun
Fear of responsibility

"Urgh," said Nipper. "Was that you?"

"Don't start. Whoever smelt it, dealt it."