November 1, 2007

Habiliments, noun
Clothing, especially for a particular purpose; equipment, fittings

"Mate," wondered Nipper, a little tentatively. "Why - in the name of all things holy - are you wearing a shroud?"

"Basically," said Zeds, "because I've a conducted slightly more thorough research than I did yesterday, and as a result I've discovered that those little pink sleeping tablets of which last night I had not one, but two, and indeed as a result slept like the proverbial baby, albeit one with apparently no intention of ever waking up again, like, ever, if not for the intervention of a truck bumping into a skip outside this morning around the ungodly hour of 9am, some ten whole slumbering hours after I'd necked them, are not, in fact, the Ambien I thought they were."

"Er, right. So what are they?"

"Well, according to the packet, they're Moxinax-0.5. Don't bothering looking it up - it's all in Thai."

"So?"

"So there's no such thing, at least in English. Or so I thought."

"Ah. So where does that leave you?"

"With Google, basically."

"And you Googled Moxinax?"

"Oh yes, I Googled. But not Moxinax. That's the brand. No, I Googled alprazolam, the ingredient."

"Can we get to the point? I'd quite fancy a pint at some stage in this lifetime."

"Okay. Here's my point. Turns out I've been using Xanax to get to sleep."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"Yes."