May 3, 2007
...I woke, bleary eyed, in a gorgeous flat in - of all places - Crouch End. Next to me was quite a cute girl, who was as groggy as me, and in an equal state of undress.
"Mornin'" I said.
"Mornin'" she said back.
"Hmm. This is going to be awkward at the office, isn't it?"
"Oh Christ," she says, groaning. "Election victory... big party... snogging on the dance floor..."
"Yep. Pretty much all that..."
"Oh, sod them," she said, and then laughed. "New Labour, new shag!"
And wasn't she right, too?
Because despite the promise of a new dawn, we've pretty much spent the last ten years being royally fucked, haven't we?
Last year I remember exhorting the need to vote.
This year, I'm opting for None Of The Above.
Labour no longer has a principle or an ideology in its pocket - something the increasingly bizarre and desperate Tories are only too eager to emulate. Great politics, eh?
The Liberal Democrats are toothless wimps, yapping like untrained, irritating puppies who will eventually go to the dog's home - when they're not being hovered over by rent boys with upset stomachs, that is.
UKIP are just passe and might as well give up. It ain't happening, boys and girls.
The BNP are a joke. A dangerous, ugly joke, admittedly, but a joke nonetheless.
And now that everyone else has nicked their ideas, the Green Party are floundering, too.
None Of The Above?
Why not?
It's true that politics is showbiz for ugly people, and there is nothing more these people are afraid of than being ignored.
So I say ignore them.
Because as my mum always used to say about wasps: If you ignore them, they'll go away.
http://rowtheboat.blog.co.uk/
03/05/07 @ 12:49