January 31, 2006

First time tonight, is it?

Aah, bless your little cotton socks.

It's harder than you thought, though, isn't it?

And you're desperately thinking of something to write about.

Something poignant, perhaps? Funny? What about just plain ZANY! ZANY! ZANY!

Sex is normally a good place to start, too. No, really. It's just like a good firm wank - satisfying, indeed, but very, very solitary.

If you were born after, say, 1985, then - if you could - please try to write in txtspk because it makes it so much easier to read for the rest of us.

Oh - poetry, you say? Only if rhymes (badly) with swear words. That's the way we all like it.

Have I missed anything? Oh yes, of course. Nasty comments to other people's posts.

Not only are they always appreciated, but we really take them on board, too, you witty young scamps.

So, go on - put your hat on at a jaunty angle and blog on.

Something like this, maybe:

Hi there its me and i cant wait to tell u all how mad i am and what a mad life i lead but not now anyway cos im too bizzy back later peeps

Or, on the other hand, nick this one, instead. It's probably easier.