Surplus Surplice

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Surplus Surplice

by Juzzzy @ Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 – 04:25:17 pm

January 13, 2006

In my misty Catholic reverie back there I forgot the entire reason why I wrote that post in the first place, and that was to wonder if I was the only person in Blog World who had ever, during 11 o'clock "high" mass, aged 13, while standing on the altar facing the congregation, got the giggles so bad that they actually pissed themselves in front of 400-odd goggle-eyed God-botherers before them, leaving them stood in a pool of wee on the perfectly Scotch-Guarded altar carpet and a large and spreading dark stain on their cassock and surplice?

Just wondered.
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29 Comments to Surplus Surplice

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- rithompson
- http://www.flickr.com/photos/rithompson/
- Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 04:38:05 pm
I once shitted myself in school, aged 11. Not my finest moment. And I'm embarassed to even think about it, so posting it on the internet and telling the world is a big step!
- - Juzzzy
  - http://juzzzy.blog.co.uk
  - Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 04:44:33 pm
  Er...
  
  lol
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- lyndlj
- Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 04:46:18 pm
Erm,is this where we do confessions then?
- - Juzzzy
  - http://juzzzy.blog.co.uk
  - Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 04:52:24 pm
  Speak, child. God is patient.
  - - lyndlj
    - Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 04:56:04 pm
    Not a chance,hehehe,we would be here all night and there isn`t enough room
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- (Visitor)
- Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 05:18:05 pm
I once ran over a pigeon on my mountain bike, it flew into the front wheel....forgive me.
- - Juzzzy
  - http://juzzzy.blog.co.uk
  - Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 06:54:46 pm
  Blessed are the meek.
  
  Walk tall, young man.
  - - (Visitor)
    - Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 07:14:40 pm
    blesses are the greek,, oh its the meeek he said the meeek, oh thats nice cos they have a hell of a time..pmsl
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- (Visitor)
- Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 05:37:58 pm
I'm scared by Rithompson's confession.....truly am.

I wet myself in school once when I was seven. Damn teacher wouldn't let me go to the toilet, so I just went everywhere.

No-one noticed. I pray.
- - Juzzzy
  - http://juzzzy.blog.co.uk
  - Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 06:56:45 pm
  Reminds of the joke when little Jenny says to the teacher: "Miss, I've had an accident!"
  
  "Oh, Jenny," scolded the teacher, "Why didn't you put your hand up?"
  
  "I did, miss, but it ran through my fingers..."
  
  Bzzz...BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ--crackle
  
  Someone's hacking into this blog because THAT WASN'T ME BELLS.... *cough*
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- The_Walrus ^Pro
- http://www.doctor-dark.co.uk
- Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 05:41:28 pm
I think you behaved correctly. But then I happen to know for a fact that all religions are false.
- - Juzzzy
  - http://juzzzy.blog.co.uk
  - Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 06:57:41 pm
  You're not L Ron Hubbard, are you, perchance?
  - - The_Walrus ^Pro
    - http://www.doctor-dark.co.uk
    - Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 09:12:21 pm
    I have documentary evidence to the contrary!
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- BoredSelecta
- Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 06:37:07 pm
I know my spelilng and grandma aren't always the best but is there such a word as 'shitted' - I remember one of Chaucer's characters being described as a 'shitern shepherde'! You see, not all schooling is lost forever. Remembering the good bits is what it's all about. I've been waiting for over 20 years to use 'shitern shepherde' in conversation. Who'd have ever thought it would be in blogland cyberspace and talking to myself.That's another weight off my mind - only 326 to go! bs
- - Juzzzy
  - http://juzzzy.blog.co.uk
  - Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 07:00:27 pm
  I think you'll find, Cap'n Selecta, that "shitted" is a perfectly au fait way to describe one's undercrackers after a night on the Guiness and a cheeky vindaloo.
  
  That's what my old mum always used to say, and by Jimminey and by Jove, I'm sticking to it (the saying, not the undercrackers).
  - - BoredSelecta
    - Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 07:54:38 pm
    Great, well that's that shit cleared up then! I've never poohded my pants tho I have been known to have pisses myself in the past - usually laughing! Thanks for the invite!
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- (Visitor)
- Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 07:11:02 pm
I have a story about a morning after, getting caught short in princes street gardens in edinburgh, but I wont cos it s***,,errm rubbish I mean rubbish.lol
- - Juzzzy
  - http://juzzzy.blog.co.uk
  - Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 07:20:18 pm
  Everyone's full of shit tonight, aren't they?
  
  Or, rather, empty..... lol
  - - (Visitor)
    - Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 07:21:19 pm
    wait for it, wait for it......booooom ttishhhh (oops thats nicked...lol)
    - - Juzzzy
      - http://juzzzy.blog.co.uk
      - Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 07:30:22 pm
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- - (Visitor)
  - Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 08:04:40 pm
  NO NO NO NO NO!! That's a horrible story!! It made me look at you in a different light.........heh heh.....
  - - Juzzzy
    - http://juzzzy.blog.co.uk
    - Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 08:18:02 pm
    So. Did. You. Two. Meet. With. Matching. Brown. Hankies. Stuffed. In. Your. Back. Pockets?
    
    I. Probably. Need. To. Know. This. Before. We. Become. Better. Friends. Like. Really. If. You. Know. What. I. Mean.
    
    (Personally. I. Wear. A. Yellow. One.)
    
    pmsl
    - - (Visitor)
      - Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 08:28:56 pm
      Eeeeeeooooooow, brown hankies!! EEEEOOOOW!!
      
      That's all I'm saying on the matter.
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  - - (Visitor)
    - Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 09:28:47 pm
    errrrm I will get me coat..lol
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- discobod
- http://discobod.blog.co.uk
- Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 07:56:47 pm
forgive my friend D who has Tourettes (honest)

we were at a football match at Highbury when a fairly non famous player had died and there was a minutes silence.

30 seconds pass and D is turning purple holding his breath.

with 10 secs to go he cried out at 4000 decibels
"PPPPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"
it was actually commented about on match of the day which was a bonus

father, please forgive him
- - Juzzzy
  - http://juzzzy.blog.co.uk
  - Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 08:03:09 pm
  Oh, I will, my son.
  
  Once I've stopped laughing.
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- - (Visitor)
  - Saturday, Jan. 14, 2006 @ 11:23:32 am
  now thats too funny...lol
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- (Visitor)
- Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 @ 09:49:45 pm
I got a fit of the giggles... quite a lot... but usually because we'd be trying to make each other laugh... but I never pissed myself.
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- kendersrule ^Pro
- Monday, Dec. 29, 2008 @ 12:28:26 am
Erm...
Kenders Aged 11.
In special learning-welsh-school for a term as she sucked so badly at it.
The loos were closed at lunch time.
She really needed to wee.
She sat uncomfortably for the register then raised her hand to ask for loo permission.
Change in muscle configuration caused her to lose her tight grip on her bladder.
Her very full bladder.
Whilst sat on a plastic chair.
In a skirt.

*shudders*

At least it wasn't proper school.
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